Thursday, August 24, 2017

This is not how it was supposed to be!!!

Happy Anniversary in Heaven!

I’ve been a bit silent on here lately. Other than beginning my new class schedule (which is a bit rigorous), I have no really good reason. I’ve just been in a funk. Mainly because…I know it’s coming. Another monumental FIRST! Friday (tomorrow) would have been our fifth wedding anniversary. I knew it was coming, but the knowledge of it collided with me head-on today.

THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! THIS IS JUST NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!

I’m simply struggling with words today. I don’t want tomorrow to come. I just want to skip right over it. And yet…I still plan to “visit” him at the cemetery and probably shed a bucketful of tears while there.

If I can be perfectly transparent (what’s stopping me now, right?)…I feel short-changed. I know I am blessed to have been loved as deeply as Joel loved me. I know some men and women never have that opportunity even once in a lifetime, so I should be thankful that I had that opportunity in my marriage to Joel and in my marriage to Chris. In both scenarios, however, I feel I’ve been so rigidly short-changed.

I just keep saying THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!! I ache for you Joel. I miss you terribly. I can’t believe we’re not celebrating this day together like we planned. As you walk with Jesus today, please ask Him to be ever near (not that He needs that reminder). It just makes me feel good knowing that you’re walking with Our Savior on a daily basis. Oh how I long for that day! It’s coming soon…I know!

“God I give You all I can today
These scattered ashes that I hid away
I lay them all at Your feet
From the corners of my deepest shame
The empty places where I’ve worn Your name
Show me the love I say I believe
Oh Help me to lay it down
Oh Lord I lay it down”

#HeIsStillGood

Monday, August 25, 2014

This man…

IMG_0260This man offered his listening ear to me as a widow before asking me for a first date.

This man offered me his heart before offering me a diamond.

This man accepted me for who I was, not for a skinnier version of me that I desired to be.

This man calls me princess and makes me feel like royalty.

This man works so hard for our family, and I respect him so much for that.

This man loves Jesus and isn’t afraid to share his faith.

This man adores his children and has a passion for children without a mommy or a daddy.

This man isn’t afraid to cry, and I love his sensitivity.

This man is my husband, and I am so thankful to be celebrating two wonderful years of marriage with him!

Happy 2nd Anniversary Sweetheart! I love you!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

2014 Bucket List

BucketNow that the month is close to being over, I guess it’s about time to take a look at my goals for this year.

Who am I kidding?

I’ve been thinking & praying about these goals since before 2014 began, but I’m trying really hard to find that place. You know the one. The place where I can look back at the end of the year and see all goals met with absolutely no failures. In all honesty, I don’t think that place exists, but a girl can dream can’t she?

In my last post, I took a moment to reflect back on 2013. I created a one-year “bucket list”, so to speak. I was a bit ambitious…perhaps too ambitious. I struggled with creating a realistic list while challenging myself at the same time. I didn’t want it to be so realistic that little effort was involved, and I also didn’t want it to be so ridiculously full of idealism that I set myself up to fail from the very beginning.

And so…

In looking at 2014, I’ve decided to group my goals into categories. In some areas, I may only have one goal listed, and that is intentional…I want nothing to get in my way of achieving that goal. I also don’t intend to create such a monstrous list that I lose joy all while trying to reach goals. So, the list that follows is simply a guideline…a map…something to help me achieve those things that I’ve deemed important for 2014. Without any further ado…

My 2014 Bucket List:

Spiritual Goals…

  1. Completely read through the Bible this year. In the past, I used to do so every other year and would follow a less-structured reading plan during the “off” years. However, it’s been a few years since I’ve done a complete read-through. It’s time to do that again this year!
  2. Memorize 12 new scripture verses this year.

Marriage Goals...

  1. Have at least two overnight dates away together.
  2. Read Love and Respect together.

Personal Health Goals…

  1. Reach my healthy goal weight! More on this in a future post!

Ministry and writing Goals…

  1. Develop and keep a reasonable blogging schedule.
  2. Explore the possibility of a second blog. (I know…I know…you might be wondering how I could possibly manage to do this when I can hardly keep up with this one. Valid point, but I’ll share more on this in a future post as well.)
  3. Open up my speaking schedule again and try to speak at a minimum of three events.
  4. Finish developing book proposal.

Miscellaneous Goals…

  1. Make curtains for at least three rooms in the house this year.
  2. Get another newspaper for my state capital collection.
  3. Complete at least two crafts per month.
  4. Set aside 2 days per month for scrapbooking and do it!

I also have several goals involving our children/grandchildren, but I simply choose not to share those on this platform.

There you have it! My 2014 bucket (or goal) list! I’ll keep you posted a couple times throughout the year to let you know how I’m doing with these goals. You can all be my accountability partners, so to speak. K?

How about you? What are your 2014 goals? If you started 2014 with strong, lofty plans for accomplishing lots but found you’ve already fallen short of where you expected to be by nearly the end of month one…have no fear! Restart! Yes – you can restart today! There is nothing “magical” about January 1. Don’t throw in the towel. Pray about what God’s plans are for you this year, and make a realistic plan to achieve them. I’d love to hear from you! We can do this…together!