Leah Stirewalt - Out of Deep Waters

Seven days. One week. On this day, three years ago, my husband had one week left to live. And, we had no idea.

We were in the throes of parenting our four newly adopted children. We had just moved to a new town four months prior. We were literally still unpacking. We had new house projects still needing to be done. I was now the one commuting an hour to/from work each day (as we moved closer to my husband’s work). Life was very busy…but good.

Would we have done anything differently if we had known how drastically life was about to change in one week? Probably so. I imagine we both would have taken the week off from work to have time to simply be together. More than likely, we would have taken a small family fun trip somewhere nearby. We would have eaten whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted…not worrying about counting calories or carbs. We would have spoken kinder words, not “sweated” the small stuff, allowed the kiddos to stay up later some of those nights, and simply put…we would have attempted to cherish each other for every second of those final days.

However, we didn’t have that opportunity. Or did we?

We always have the opportunity to cherish those we love most. Why does it take a tragedy, a grim diagnosis, or a life altering event to thrust us off our tushes and on to loving more deeply and completely? No…we can’t always take off days from work and go on getaways with our family. We can’t let our children stay up late every night. But, there are things we can do that express love more completely, allowing us to live life more fully.

Study your spouse or significant other. What makes him or her tick? What makes them smile? What do they love, and what do they hate? What can you do today to express that they truly matter to you, that speaks to the fact you intimately know them (or are at least trying to know them)?
What makes your son or daughter giggle? What do they most want from you? My guess is time. They simply want you to be present with them…playing a game, working a puzzle, etc.
Send flowers to a friend…just because.
Write an actual letter or mail a card…not the electronic version.
Use words to elevate a friend or loved one, especially one for whom “words of affirmation” are their love language.
Remember their “special days”. This may not always be obvious days – like a birthday or anniversary – but, what about the day their father or mother went to Heaven (knowing they might need a little extra dose of love on those death anniversaries), what about their kiddos’ birthdays, how about the day they began a life of sobriety, or what about the day they gave their life to Christ? I know you might be thinking, “I can’t even remember my own anniversary, let alone all these other dates.” It might take a little effort, but if you truly love someone and want to express that love more tangibly, you’ll find a way. Learn the dates and record them on a calendar (paper or digital or both). That’s all it takes.
Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway or a romantic dinner out at a favorite restaurant.
Make your child’s favorite meal…just because.
Bake Christmas cookies in the middle of the summer and share them with loved ones, neighbors, your mail carrier, etc.
Practice doing random acts of kindness. For ideas, check out this post I wrote when I did this leading up to my 40th birthday.

These are just a few ideas, and there is certainly an infinite list we can pull from, but you get the idea. If you truly cherish someone…show that now, in the land of the living…before it’s too late. You never know when you’re living your last seven days. You never know when your spouse has one week left to live. Don’t wait. Live each day and treat each person as if this might be your/their last day on this earth. Can you imagine how much more love is expressed just by simply practicing this more often?

You know the old adage, “Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it?” Well, as I’ve discovered, the same philosophy can apply to prayer. I often hear Christians joking about never praying for patience again. They know God will answer, just not typically in some fairy tale sort of way,

You need patience, precious one? Well, here you go! You’ll never struggle in this area again and will live happily patient ever after.

Nah…doesn’t typically happen that way. Usually, we’re thrust into an area that allows us to develop patience the hard way…by learning how to be patient…whether we want to or not.

For those of you who have been reading my posts on Out of Deep Waters for awhile know a good bit about my story. For those of you who might have been at a speaking event of mine have probably heard even more. I don’t share it all in this space, as it’s honestly tough to tell in written words. I’d much rather sit down over a cup of tea or coffee and talk face-to-face. However, I also know God gave me this story for the vital purpose of sharing it, as someone else (or several someones) just might need to hear it. It ain’t pretty though. And, I like pretty. I would much rather wrap up my story in some beautiful package and tie a gorgeous bow on top of it before giving it to you. However, in all honesty, it’ll come wrapped in dirty burlap with gaping holes.

My story begins with my earliest childhood memory and will be ongoing until the day the Lord calls me home. It’s a story that’s been exposed to childhood abuse, divorce, addiction, poverty, abandonment, solo parenting, suicide, widowhood (twice!), foster parenting, adoption, tragedy, deceit, physical pain, secondary infertility, and I could go on (yes…really!). One day, I asked the Lord why He couldn’t just “spread the wealth”. I wanted to know why I (as one person) had to be relatable to so many groups of people. Couldn’t I just be “the expert” in one or two of these categories and let others tackle the rest? Yes – I really did pray this (sad, but true). And, He answered me so quickly and so vividly just three months ago when I uttered this prayer out loud…

Oh Leah, my precious daughter, do you remember that prayer you prayed in 2003? The one where you asked Me to ‘enlarge your ministry territory’? I’ve done that for you dear one!

Oh boy. There it was. Yes…I do remember that prayer. But, I honestly had forgotten about it in recent years. Do you remember when the Prayer of Jabez was a big thing back in the early 2000’s (see 1 Chronicles 4:10)? Books were written on it, people talked about it all over the place, and I prayed it! Specifically, just as God reminded me that day I was whining to Him. I honestly did want God to enlarge my territory of ministry, but I never meant this way! And, there it was, “be careful what you pray for…”

I’ve had to come to terms with this realization in the months since God opened my eyes to what He was doing. Much of the junk I’ve experienced in life happened to me. I didn’t cause it. But, there was some other “stuff” that resulted in my own sin. I couldn’t blame that on anyone but me. That’s the harder to swallow stuff. But…I also know this…God isn’t wasting one single bit of it! Not. One. Bit.

He promises in Romans that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I love Him, and I’ve been called according to His purpose, therefore I’m claiming this promise that He will work all these things for good! My story continues, and I can now thank Him for “enlarging my territory”. To Him be all the glory!

One Week Left to Live

Be Careful What You Pray For…