I’ve always referred to this place, my blog, as my little oasis in the desert wanderings of life. Historically, I’ve been able to come here and find refreshment as I pour out my thoughts through the keyboard of hydration. Without a doubt, after I perform a word dump (write a post), I’m renewed and ready to venture back out into the desert. I know I can always return here, to my oasis, to refresh my weary soul. That is, unless I become lost in the desert.
Lately, I’ve been a lost desert wanderer. Unlike the Israelites from thousands of years of ago, God thankfully hasn’t allowed me to wander for forty years. Although, some days feel like years. He knew this season was coming, and He allowed me to walk through it. I’m still in that season, the one that provides opportunities to question everything in my life leading up until now. The one that produces many episodes of ugly crying. The one that feels as if it’s going to be my lot for the rest of my life. The one in which I hardly recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. Due to being “lost” in this desert of life, I’ve struggled to find any oasis, especially this one. The words simply haven’t been able to come out. In part, I think that’s all been part of God’s plan all along. Allow me to elaborate.
I’ve always used this space to not only express some of the most vulnerable places of my heart for all the world to see, but I’ve also attempted to use it to encourage others, to provide hope, and to help others see they are not alone in the struggles we face this side of eternity. That said, I truly believe God didn’t allow me to write for the last nine months, because I was not in a place to provide that encouragement or hope. In truth, I was drowning in a sea of despair, and I had to find personal healing and restoration first. Am I completely healed? Am I completely restored? Yes and no. According to what I know from God’s Word, I believe I am both of those things, but I don’t always feel it. So, I’m choosing to walk in the truth of the biblical principles I cling to each day, whether I feel it or not. Thankfully, I have a lifetime of experiencing God’s amazing grace and mercy, therefore I know my feelings don’t define the facts. They are just that. Feelings.
Feelings aside, I long to express myself through words. In short, I love to write. I’ve always been a bit of a word geek. I deeply desire to return to this oasis more consistently in the coming days, weeks, and months. What will that look like? I have no idea at this point. I’m certainly not at the place I’m willing to publicly make a promise I can’t keep. However, I see the tides turning. I see God doing a new thing in me, and I deeply want to bring you along on that journey, as He allows.
I’ve been blogging for more than a decade. In regards to this particular site, this year is the 10-year anniversary of Out of Deep Waters. Many of you have been with me from the beginning, and some of you have just discovered OoDW. Without a doubt, I’m thankful for each and every individual who takes the time to read the words this ordinary gal chooses to share. It’s quite humbling actually. I’ve always had so many big dreams for this oasis, but personal choices and life (in general) have prevented most of those dreams from transpiring…at least for now. Even so, I press on. I look forward to what lies ahead. I’m so thankful to no longer be a lost desert wanderer.
Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19)